Reasons to Date a Feminist

Recently, Phyllis Schlafly (remember her? She’s the one who lead a campaign in the 1970’s to stop the Equal Rights Amendment from getting ratified) said to a group of men:

“Feminist is a bad word and everything they stand for is bad …  Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don’t all look like Bella Abzug.”

Well, sorry Phyllis, but we feminists are actually a pretty awesome set of people to date. Here’s why:

  1. We’re independent. Feminists are all about being useful, contributing members of society and being their own person. Vaginas ≠ inability to unclog a toilet, fix our computer, or kill a bug. Although we do still appreciate when you offer, we won’t necessarily expect it of you.
  2. We’re open-minded. Feminism wouldn’t have been possible without people being open to change and shifts in society; and we get that – which is why we try to remain as open-minded as we can.
  3. We split the check. It’s still nice when a guy offers to pay, and sometimes I accept, but I certainly don’t expect a guy to always pay for me – hell, sometimes I pay for the guy. We understand that a relationship is a two-way street, both emotionally and financially.
  4. We don’t buy into conventional ideas of beauty. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we never shave our legs or never shower or anything like that, but instead that beauty is about being healthy, happy, and internal beauty. It comes from within. And that goes for you too!
  5. We’re definitely not boring. Feminists care about the world around them, and are passionate about things. We’re open to debate, discussion, and interesting people. And think about it – who would you rather have as your constant dinner mate?

What reasons did I leave out? Leave it below!


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About beckawall

AU Alumni, feminist, master of peanut butter brownies. Lover of Teddy Roosevelt, politics, analyzing popular culture, and general nerdery.

3 responses to “Reasons to Date a Feminist”

  1. thesecond says :

    “We’re independent.”

    Which normally means she won’t have any gratitude when you do stuff for her. Dependence is important in a relationship.

    “We’re open-minded.”

    Has benefits for your sex life, has flaws in the hidden meaning- feminists often absorb values from other women which can be rather offensive, such as women’s studies ladies who have been divorced multiple times and hate men. Sometimes you should be close minded.

    “We split the check.”

    Can be good. But it often leads to the woman taking charge of your life and being dominant which is a turn off.

    “We don’t buy into conventional ideas of beauty.”

    Huge negative. We prefer women who aren’t obese and who take care of their hair and skin.

    “passionate about things. We’re open to debate, discussion, and interesting people.”

    Arguing a lot with your partner is a negative. Huge negative. We want to be able to say things and not have you debate our every statement and raise our stress level.

    Five reasons not to date a feminist.

    • erock142 says :

      Well someone obviously isn’t a fan of feminists…

      1.) I don’t know how you jumped from women being independent to women not being appreciative of things that men do. Dependence is an important part, but only dependence in the sense that you can depend on each other to be there for one another.

      2.) “Sometimes you should be close minded” Really? Really dude? I do know too many feminists but the ones I do know don’t hate men at all. They just want equality. I can’t even begin to talk about what’s wrong with saying being close minded is a good thing.

      3.) Again, splitting the check to women dominating your whole being is a big jump. If you find out the girl you are dating wants to dominate you using something like that, her problem is not that she is a feminist. There are bad apples in every bunch, but to generalize like that is wrong. I read this as, hey we’re in this relationship together. Which is nothing but a plus from my point of view. For a partnership to last, you have to enjoy each other and share each other’s lives.

      4.) Huge negative? Are you trolling? For someone who once was very close to a person with an eating disorder I take offensive to that. The conventional ideas of beauty aren’t making women obese and gross. They are making them feel insecure and not allowing to love themselves. Which is horrible.

      5.) Finally, there is a big difference between arguing with your partner about stuff that doesn’t matter (i.e. what kind of paper towels to buy) and debating and discussing topics and ideals that do matter. You can take a girl who is going to bow to everything you say, but I for one love a women who can old her own and challenge me intellectually.

      Your use of we in the reply is wrong because I’m a part of that “we.” And I truly think there are many men out there like me who would not want to identify to what your definition of “we” is.

      • mik says :

        I dated a feminist once…She falsified a police report for domestic violence and spousal rape a few days after I broke it off with her. The whole time she was in very serious contempt of court. I don’t have a problem with the laws themselves, but the fact that well informed women know how to use them to marginalize men for their benefit; these women are ruining the court system for all the other women who actually have domestic problems. The whole ordeal was beyond stressful; I was completing my final year at university. I had so much anxiety that the courts would believe her lie and be sympathetic to the show she put on. If they had I would have served time in jail, potentially be raped and my life options like career and leaving country would be ruined. It caused me a lot of grief. I won on lack of evidence but the lawyer still cost me over nine grand.

        I am absolutely not promiscuous, and very careful with the women I meet. It’s just too much of a risk to put trust into a woman being a young male in today’s society. I know it’s a generalization, but because of my personal experience I would absolutely never date a feminist.

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